you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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