idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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