What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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