Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she smelled like a LAN party
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
