He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
