Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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