I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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