You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
