Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your tits are I can't wait for
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
