i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize