Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
