everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My cat gives me a boner
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
