so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
