i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
