When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
