you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
