Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Randomize
