hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
