I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
