The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
