Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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