So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
