please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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