we have pet lesbian snakes
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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