I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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