I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
