Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
