ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
