If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
