Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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