You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
