No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
