I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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