she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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