i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
