My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
