We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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