I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize