I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
