i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am available for nakedness
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
