Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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