just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
