She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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