TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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