remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
