That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
