if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
