Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
