good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is classic penis vs brain.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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