Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She needs sedatives and a leash
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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