this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
