it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
