There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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