win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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