I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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