Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
