i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
