Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
