i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
