You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
