I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
