I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
