the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
