it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
