I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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