the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
