I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
try to milk me bitch
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