just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
