I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How does one acquire holy water?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
