69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
