Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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