Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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